So one of my favorite things in the world is music, if you didn't know. Most people love music, but I think my love for music is a bit more than others. I listen to everything & anything, and 99.99% of the time I like every song I hear. I find great joy in creating playlists/Cd's/mixes. So of course, my work out mixes are pretty great (in my opinion). Below are some of my playlists! FYI... some are fast paced songs, some aren't. But I think the key to any workout song is that it pumps you up, whether it is fast or slow. This is my most listened to music playlist with the least amount of skips. And just for fun, I've included some throwback pics.

Halloween 2006 (as a Pirate)

Here we go:
"93 Million Miles" - Muse
"99 Problems" - Jay-Z
"Are you gonna be my girl" -Jet
"Ashes" -Pepper
"Bad Girls - N.A.R.S. Remix" -M.I.A., Missy Elliott
"Bass Down Low - Explicit Version" -DEV, The Cataracs
"Beautiful People feat. Benny Benassi" -Chris Brown
"Birthday Cake" -Rihanna
"Boom" -P.O.D.
"Breathe, Stretch, Shake" -Mase feat. P.Diddy

Houlihans 2006

"Club can't handle me feat. David Guetta" -Flo Rida
"Cockiness (Love It)" -Rihanna
"Cold" -Crossfade
"Dance, Dance" -Fall Out Boy
"Dancing on my Own" -Robyn
"Don't wake me up" -Chris Borwn
"Down with the Sickness" -Distrubed
"Face Down" -The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
"Fly" -Nicki Minaj, Rihanna
"From Yesterday" -30 Seconds to Mars
"Give it Up" -Pepper
"Give Me Everything" -Pitbull feat. Ne-Yo, Afrojack & Nayer
"Go Hard (Remix)" -Jay-Z, Kanye West, T-Pain
"Gold Lion" -Yeah Yeah Yeahs
"Headstrong" -Trapt
"Howlin' For You" -The Black Keys
"I can only imagine" -David Guetta, Lil Wayne & Chris Brown
"I do" -Young Jeezy, Jay-Z & Andre 3000
"I'm shipping up to Boston" -Dropkick Murphys

Danielle, Phil & I - June 2008

"If you can't dance" - Spice Girls
"Jump Around" - House of Pain
"Kids" -MGMT
"Like a Boy" -Ciara
"Live Your Life feat. Rihanna" -T.I.
"Love the Way You Lie Pt 2" -Rhinnna & Eminem
"Madness" -Muse
"Monster" -Kanye Wet, Nicki Minaj, Rick Ross, Jay-Z & Bon Iver

"Motivation" -Kelly Rowland & Lil Wayne
"My Way" -Limp Bizkit
"Numb/Encore" -Jay Z/Linkin Park
"Pony" -Ginuwine
"Princess of China" -Coldplay feat. Rihanna

Me, Kristina & Megan - 2006 or 2007...

"Push It" -Rick Ross
"Push It" - Salt-n-Pepa
"Remember the Name" -Fort Minor
"Ride" Ciara feat. Ludacris
"Sex Type Thing" -Stone Temple Pilots
"Sexy Bitch feat. Akon" -David Guetta
"Shake it Out" -Florence + the Machine
"She's so Mean" -Matchbox Twenty
"Shoop" -Salt-n-Pepa
"Shooting Star" -Black Stone Cherry
"Skin" -Rihanna
"SupaFreak" -Young Jeezy & 2 Chainz
"Sweat" -Snoop Dog & David Guetta

Me December 2009

"Take Care" -Drake feat. Rihanna
"Take it to the Head" -DJ Khaled, Chris Brown, Rick Ross, Nicki Minaj & Lil Wayne
"The Seed (2.0)" -The Roots feat. Cody Chestnutt
"This is War" -30 Seconds to Mars
"This Love" -Maroon 5
"Tighten Up" -The Black Keys
"Time is Running Out" -Muse
"Titanium feat. Sia" -David Guetta
"Tubthumping" -Chumbawamba
"Turn Me On feat. Nicki Minaj" -David Guetta
"Wannabe" -Spice Girls
"We Found Love feat. Calvin Harris" -Rihanna
"Where them Girls At feat. Nicki Minaj & Flo Rida" -David Guetta
"Work Hard, Play Hard" -Wiz Khalifa

New Habits

Check out Newman after one of our jogs on Saturday, he ran with me the whole time and when we got back to the car he was so tired, he fell asleep for a few minutes on the asphalt after he drank all his water!! Too cute!

So I've now been eating differently for about a month. I feel pretty good most of the time still. I've had a slip up here and there but nothing serious, no binge eating or anything crazy! I need to be more vigilant about going to the grocery store and staying stocked up with good foods. But I've clearly created newer better habits, most of my plate consisting of veggies and a little bit of meat or a little bit of grains. I'm still staying away from potatoes, pasta, & bread as much as possible. I think I'm going to pick up some high fiber wraps and do that for some lunches with veggies or turkey inside. No mayonnaise either, I've dropped mayo from my life... and I've realized I don't really like it anyways. Dijon mustard is the new condiment for me lol!

As far as exercising goes, I've been doing good, but I need to step it up. After all... I only have about 10 weeks until my first goal which is to drop 20 lbs. This weekend I did my morning walk/jogs with Newman, we did 1.6 miles on Saturday and a little over 2 miles on Sunday as well as my exercises I found on pinterest, which is just a series of exercises (picture included). This week I've been doing walks but I need to kick it up a notch. My dad just put a stationary bike in the garage so I think I'm going to add an hour of that daily. I made a pretty rocking play list to go along with that to keep me moving fast. I've included a lot of pictures I've pinned to my fitness board on pinterest (follow me!). One of the best things I've found so far is a bunch of exercises to do along with one of my favorite TV shows, The Vampire Diaries. Basically anytime certain things happen, you do an exercise... pretty cool! You could really translate this into any show just changing the situations. Who said you need to be sitting on your ass for the whole 60 minutes of television!

I also am going to start training with some free weights, we have tons of them at my house so I think I will be doing this from home as well. Or taking them to the park with me, etc. Another cool thing I found was creating a jar and every time I work out, I put a dollar in the jar. And once the jar is full... treat myself to something whether that be a massage, getting my nails done, new outfit, etc. I really like that idea!

I'm really just shocked at how this has been easy, well maybe not easy.. but definitely easier than I made it out to be in my mind. I start to think about why I haven't started this until now. But then I just remember that now is a better time to be doing this than 10 years from now. I really am just too excited, I want to see what I will look like 2,3,4, & 6 months from now. I haven't got on the scale yet, I'm still planning to do it every 2 weeks, so I'll need to get on it this weekend!

25 Random Things...

So I was reading an old issue of US Weekly and they have the celebrities give 25 random things about themselves. After reading that, I decided to take a crack at this. It is actually harder than you think, because though a lot of people who read this blog don't know me that well, some people read it who do know me. And trying to come up with 25 random things geared towards those that do know me is pretty hard. But anyways, here we go.

1. One of my favorite things is riding in the car, with the windows down & good music blasting.
2. If I tear up, or if I cry... my eyes often turn this creepy ice blue color.
3. I hate when people say Miss Ashley, or Miss Gibson when referring to me. I am only 25, so stop it.
4. I hate the smell of roses.
5. I've recently discovered that I actually like working out.
6. I am terrified of cracking eggs b/c I'm afraid that the egg will be over developed and I will see embryo/baby chicken. LOL seriously, every time I cook with eggs I get so nervous!
7. I cringe at the sound of teeth chattering, or teeth clanking.
8. I have a dumb addiction to ABC Family & The CW teenage shows.
9. I rarely answer my cell phone, even if someone calls when the phone is in my hands. I prefer texting by far over talking on the phone.
10. I've never been fired.
11. I enjoy working on craft projects or DIY projects.
12. I went to two elementary schools & two high schools.
13. I've lived in 11 different apartments, houses, dorm rooms, etc. over the years.
14. I always used to say no, but guess what... I do want to get married and have 1-4 kids... eventually like maybe 5-7 years from now. I just have so much I want to do before I have more than just me to worry about.
15. Sometimes I treat people really badly or take them for granted, but I'm working on it, that's all I can say about it.
16. I am a bit dramatic but I hate drama!
17. I'd take my dog with me wherever I went if it was possible!
18. I really miss my Aunt Marie, not a single week goes by when I don't wish she was still with us.
19. I actually have NO idea who I'm voting for this year... I really don't want to vote for either. But I will make up my mind and when the time comes, I will be voting.
20. I want to live near the beach one day, whether I'm 60 or next year. I just would love to be closer. Maybe in SC, FL, or CA.
21. I've only kissed 18 people in my life, I think. I'm wondering if that is a lot or a little?
22. I love music, all kinds of music. There is rarely a song I've heard that I don't like. I usually find something about it I like. That goes for movies as well.
23. I hate to fight, but when I do... I must win.
24. I miss some people a lot, some of them are still in my life. Which makes me wonder, if I'm missing them... does that mean soon they won't be a part of my life?
25. I believe in God, but I have a hard time doing so with all my science knowledge. And though I have this belief, I do not believe in church, at all.

Goals Revisited

Just a quick little update post...

In regards to my weight loss goals, I wanted to clarify a few things. I still would like to get down to 160 but I think my first and foremost objective is getting out of the 200's. I am still going to follow my previous timeline as much as I can, but I wanted to make it clear that the first MAIN thing I'm working towards is kicking the 200's to the curb. Once I hit 199, I'll probably lose my shit and have a party, LOL. But based on my previous timeline, I'm hoping to be out of the 200's by Feburary/March time frame, cross your fingers for me... tough & bumpy road ahead!

Goals.

 I'm sitting here on Facebook at work (of course), and I'm browsing through photos of myself and I'm desperate for my hair to be longer. I'm currently growing it out (after chopping it all off in March). So it got me thinking about goals being that it is a goal of mine to grow my hair out longer. I included some pics where my hair is much longer and in one pic it's a blondish brown, and in the other it's dark brown. Anyways so it got me thinking about my goals and I've finally figured out some weight loss goals as well. I'll list them out below.

1. Continue growing out my hair, avoiding getting it cut especially while in the awkward phase it's in right now. With growing it out, avoid dying the color if possible. I want to get back to my natural hair color as well as a longer length.

2. Weight loss goal - to get to 160lbs by June 2013

My goal has been set to 160 lbs, I feel like that is a reasonable goal for my height which is about 5'10". I am sure my goals will change as the months go on, if I lose more or less than intended. But for now, that is where I am at. Wow, it sounds so crazy... but I think it is definitely possible!

It took me a long time to decide what my final goal is, I mean who knows... I may get to 175lbs and decide that I am where I want to be, I'm not really sure. We'll have to see how it goes.

3. Student Loans: I am currently in the process of paying down my ridiculously annoying student loans. As everyone else says... Sallie Mae is a bitch. I have one loan with interest rate at 10.75% so I am working on killing that one first while paying the minimums on the rest. It is definitely going down, it started off at 8,000 and now it sits in the mid 5,000's. I'm hoping that by June of next year, that loan will be gone and I'll be working on the others. The rate I'm going, that should be no issue.

4. Careers: I am hoping to find a different full time job over the next few months that I'm proud to work at and that deserves my time and efforts and that appreciates my hard work. I don't get that from my current position and I hope to find something in the near future. I also would like to go back to school, but of course that will be saved for when my undergrad loans have disappeared.

5. Become completely self sufficient: I consider myself pretty self-sufficient already but living with my parents makes me feel less self-sufficient... so within the next 1-2 years I would like to move back out, but this is contigent upon my finances so depending on when that happens...

I am sure I have tons of smaller goals, but those are the most important to me (they're not in order according to importance). I'm glad I have finally established my weight loss goals, I had no idea what to choose at first, I was googling healthy weights for my height and all sorts of things but that is where I have landed.

Bump in the road

I'm having a bad day, not a bad day food/eating wise, just emotional bad day. I have no reason for it, nothing happened to me to make me upset today or in the past few days, I'm just out of it. Most days I block out any kind of upset feelings or thoughts that would bring me down, because I had made a concicous decision to not let them get to me at some point in the past few months. But then occasionally, those feelings and thoughts slide in and WOMP WOMP, my day has gone to shit.

I go down that road that no person should go down, thinking of how my life is not where I thought it would be at this point. Like thinking of how I might have imagined 25 when I was 16 and well damn, this is not what I pictured. Not that there is anything wrong with my life, it is what it is and I'm working towards things I want and all so things will get where I want them soon. But it's hard to not feel like you've failed when you're back home after living away for so long. It's hard not to think you failed at a relationship, even though I may be happy with my choices it's just hard not to let your brain go there. But these things just make me overthink everything. And then I start to think oh well if I did this, maybe the outcome would have been different, etc. BLAH, oh how the mind works.

2 years ago, if I was in this type of mood I would have smoked a cigarette and had some ice cream, 1 year ago it would have been just the ice cream. Last week, it would have been just a cigarette (The re-starting of that habit  has been stopped, it's no more... don't worry). But no more of that... I have to actually attack these emotions and tell myself that I am right where I am supposed to be and not have a cigarette, ice cream, or any other unhealthy solution. Who needs therapy, I am my own therapist it seems today! That's probably what is making days like this harder than they used to be because I don't have some unhealthy way of distracting myself. Which is one huge step in the right direction, I guess. But anyways, just a quick update today... nothing too exciting. I definitely need to hit the hay early tonight so I can wake up refreshed and in a better mood!

I survived!

The weekend has come and gone and it was a fun one! I went shopping at Roots on Friday afternoon and stocked up! I got some veggie burgers, cranberry/goat cheese stuffed chicken (but it's not chicken it's beans & quinoa, etc), turkey burgers, some amy's organic frozen meals, pesto, veggie pasta, lots of fruit & vegetables, chicken sausage, and some other things.

Saturday was the day for Kim's bachelorette party in Ocean City. I packed up a bag with bananas, apple, dried apples, grapes, applesauce, and a huge bottle of water. It was a lot of fun. There was 9 of us in total: Kim, Kaity, Stefanie, Megan, Sabrina, Samantha, Cassie, and Melissa. There was not too much traffic on the way down and I'm glad I packed my bag with snacks because when we stopped for lunch Wawa was out of forks so I couldn't do the salad I picked out [note to self: carry extra plastic forks on road trips apparently]. We got down to OC around 3, I think. Kaity painted wine glasses for all of us which was awesome and we toasted with Champagne - & the drinking commenced! I stuck to cranberry & vodka (only a little bit of cranberry), it was not too bad but I definitely saw the effect the sugar was having on me. I was really shaky, my hands were shaking and so were my checks when I would try to hold a smile, it was WEIRD. When we went for dinner we ended up at a sub/kabob place, I did a grilled veggie wrap and it came with fries. I had half the fries (figured I would need it for drinking) and I didn't eat the wrap, only the veggies inside. So food wise, I did okay on Saturday, it was the lack of water and the sugary cranberry that did me in. My previously clean body felt like shit on Sunday. The morning wasn't too bad, I had breakfast at Mcdonalds (did an apple and an egg & cheese sandwich since I could add those things in on Sunday) and that combined with the drinking the night before, I was dead. I didn't sleep the ride home but as soon as I got back to my house, I was ready to pass the bleep out!

Today I feel much better, I was a little funky this morning but aside from that I'm doing okay. I feel good about what I ate/drank this weekend. Afterall one day can't mess me up that much, I somehow managed to do a 40 minute walk yesterday with my dog so I got in exercise and once I was home I only ate veggies. I'm definitely not going to beat myself up over all the sugar intake, but I tried someones vodka soda with lime and it was pretty good, so I know what I'm drinking next time. All in all I had a blast for her bachelorette party and I hope everyone else did too!

Improving my life one meal at a time!

Today while at Roots getting my grocery shopping done I stumbled into the magazine section (whoops!). I found the magazine "Clean Eating: Improving your life one meal at a time" [www.cleaneatingmag.com]. Of course I had to buy it!!! I love it, may have to subscribe. There is tons of recipes too!
Here is my favorite part, the eat-clean diet principles.
1. Eat more! Eat six small meals each day, spaced at intervas of two-and-a-half to three hours.
2. Eat reakfast every day within an hour of rising.
3. Make your last meal 3 hours before bed.
4. Eat a combination of lean protein and complex carbohydrates at each meal.
5. Eat sufficient healthy fats every day.
6. Drink two to three liters of water each day.
7. Carry a cooler of packed with clean foods each day.
8. Depend on fresh fruits and vegetables for fiber, vitamins, nutrients and enzymes.
9. Adhere to proper portion sizes (this is a HUGE rule).
10. Eat only foods that hae not been overly processed or saturated in chemicals, saurated and trans fats and/or toxins.

I love those rules but I think the most important ones are #6, #9 & #10. Of course they're all important but those are definitely huge ones. The water portion is huge though, because if I'm in between my mini meals and I start to feel hungry, I drink water and lots of it. It does fill you up! And I'm so used to drinking so much water that I find myself knowing when I'm thirsty much easier than before. And I love this photo to the right, but of course we're talking more than 8 (8oz) glasses, more like 12 (to equal the 2-3 liters).

Another article in this magazine is talking about "this seasons hottest supermarket find" which is the Watermelon Radish. I like normal radishes so I really would like to find some of these! They look hot too (maybe it's just because they're bright green & hot pink)! Supposudly, they are also known as the roseheart radish, beuty heart or red meat radish. And apparently it is an asian veggie, they had me at asian! It is supposed to be a bit stronger than a normal radish, sign me up!

There is an article teaching you how to make your own vinaigrettes and I am so down for that. The magazine suggests doing an oil, an acid, salt, pepper, two flavors and BOOM! THey list a few suggestions. I will definitely be making some of the following over the next few weeks:

Oil	Acid	Flavor 1	Flavor 2
Extra-virgin olive oil	White wine vinegar	Dijon Mustard	Minced shallot or red onion
Vegetable oil	Lemon juice	Lemon peel	poppy seeds
Extra-virgin olive oil	Buttermilk + white wine vinegar	Fresh chives, dill, or tarragon	Fresh thyme or oregano
Olive oil	Balsalmic vinegar	minced garlic	Brown Mustard

Sounds pretty good to me!

The magazine also has an easy, affordable weeknight dinners for just $50 section that has some great options! But thats everything that I wanted to share from the august/september issue. I'll be posting some of the recipes under my other blog (can see it up at the top banner as The Clean Eating Diaries). Until next time!

New fav photo from pinterest to the left!

Eat to Survive...

So I've almost reached the end of my two week clean eating cleanse. It's been an interesting two weeks, but I feel great. It's amazing what it has done for my skin, as a friend has said... it has a glow to it. It has just cleared up all imperfections and the dark circles under my eyes have lightened significantly. My stomach has started to flatten a bit and after weighing myself I'm down 7lbs. It's clear that I've lost a lot of water weight & bloating. I never noticed but apparently my ankles had been swollen and with only drinking water for the past two weeks that is no longer the case. It's amazing! My stomach has shrunk because I get fuller faster and eat a few short meals a day. I've had people comment on how they notice the change in my body and that feels amazing! My dad, friends, coworkers, sister, friends mothers, etc.

Not only has my body changed but my attitude is changing as well. I am happy and I wake up and I'm actually awake. I'm not groggy and tired for a few hours, I'm just awake and ready for the day. I have more energy and don't have trouble falling asleep at night. It's quite amazing what no junk food, no processed food, no fast food, & correct portion size has done. I'm just in a good mood and I don't want that to go away!

I still have a long road ahead of me, but I'm finally ready for the road trip. I can't wait to see what I look like in December for my birthday, I'll post a before and after picture because that will be 3 months of doing this. Then again in March at the 6 month point. We'll see how much I can transform my body by then.

A coworker of mine had mentioned this phrase to me at the start of this "Eat to Survive." It is so true, I'm no longer eating for comfort or because I think I want something. I'm eating to fuel my body. At some point in life, I started eating for comfort as most of us do. But for me, it lead to instant weight gain because I never have had a super quick metabolism allowing me to eat whatever I wanted, even as a teenager. Bread, french fries, chips, pasta, etc. All these things were my go to foods but I don't even really want them right now. And when I do feel like I want something that is not a part of my plan, I just think of what my friends or family have said about how I look and that kills any craving! I'm looking forward to my trip to Roots tonight to stock up for next week, especially because I can get some of the stuff that I couldn't get last time. I am sticking with the clean eating but adding in a tiny amount of dairy & meat. So I have more options at the store!

I was originally a little worried about this weekend and going out of town for Saturday night, but I think I'll be just fine. I get filled up really fast, so I'll just do small healthy meals and if I drink... I'll just have to remember to keep it light (not a lot of sugary mixers!). And if nothing else, it's two days and if I mess up, I'll make up for it! I'm just so excited to go party with the girls. It's been far too long since I've hung out with these friends and I know it will be a blast!

& I just love pinterest, all these inspirational photos are from pinterst. One of my favorite boards is the health & fitness category! (As for the last picture to the left, I don't know that I'll ever be quite that tiny, but I still love the message!)

Just gimme a soda already!

I survived the weekend! I was a bit worried since it is easier to stick to this clean eating while at work, since I have things to distract me. But home for the weekend had me worried that I would stray. I only had one slip up, which I don't consider that big of an issue. I had some popcorn at the movies, but I only had 1/2 of a small bag, so not too terrible. But I stuck to my all natural foods aside from that. I thought I would fall off last night when my Mom made the best smelling pizza in the world, but I didn't. I ate my salad and edamame!

My newfound addiction is Sons of Anarchy on Netflix and the yumminess that is Charlie Hunnam (aka Jax Teller). I need to finish all 4 seasons so I can watch season 5. Don't think I'll catch up in time for the season 5 premiere tomorrow though!
I'm looking forward to fall TV. Can't wait for: The Vampire Diaries, Modern Family, Revenge, Once upon a Time, 2 Broke Girls, Homeland, Greys Anatomy, Gossip Girl, Happy Endings, The Good Wife, How I Met Your Mother, & The Big Bang Theory.
I'm looking forward to some of the new shows as well: The Mob Doctor, Emily Owens MD, and some others which I forgot their name.
I know I know, I watch way too much TV, but I love my shows :-).

One more week of clean eating. All I can say is... I want a Diet Coke! My favorite beverage has been dropped from my life. All I've been drinking is water, water, water!!!!!! Though I will say, I am not as tired as I have been, and this is without taking any caffeine in. Pretty nifty!

YES!

So a small victory for myself this morning! I easily slid into jeans I wasnt' able to fit in comfortably two weeks ago. I did a happy dance this morning! It's those moments that far outweigh the moments when I'm craving something or thinking I can't do this. I haven't been on the scale in about a week in a half, and I'm not sure I want to get right back on it either. I'm thinking I'll weigh myself every two weeks. I don't want the number to get me down! I will be taking measurements this weekend. I think I'll be measuring my arms, chest, waist, hips & thighs.

Yesterday I went to Roots market on my way home from work. For those of you who aren't familiar with Roots, it is an organic grocery store similar to Trader Joes or Whole Foods. I fell in love, it is now my favorite spot! So many tasty snacks that are all veggie or all fruit. I only picked up a few things, but my favorite so far is the dried apples because they are so tasty! I also grabbed some veggie chips that are made fresh by Roots, and they are pretty good as well! I kind of like eating clean, I thought I would hate it but it's kind of great. Is it silly that I'm excited to go back and get more stuff for next week? Lunch today is something new, a black bean burger and hummus with veggies, could be good!
I applied for a few part time jobs last night. I'm looking to find something that I can do a few nights a week and the weekends. I NEED to get rid of these student loans. My Dad suggested a part time job to fund my own luxeries, and use my full time income to go solely towards loans (and gas of course). But I think I'm going to give it a go! Once I get rid of these loans, I can move back out or I can get a new car, or BOTH! I've just been thinking about it a lot and discussing it with my parents a lot, and I don't want to be 35 with all this debt. I want to be free of it, and I think it's completely possible with a little self discipline in the spending area and working a part time job. I am still doing Pure Romance parties as well part time, so if you're out there and you want to have a fun girls night, let me know!!!!!!! :-)

See some pictures below of what I got at Roots, and my snacks!

 

#cleaneating

I started my change in eating habits on Sunday.I could say I've started my diet, but I really hate that word. So I've started my change, it's been a struggle but not too difficult. I started on Sunday and going for two weeks I am eating only fuits, veggies, raw nuts & seeds, beans. No dairy products, no meat, etc. It's actually kind of like going vegan for two weeks but making sure to not have anything processed or any grains. The hardest part is preparation and making sure that I have a days worth of food ready to take to work. The second hardest part is getting past my own thoughts. What I'm eating, I feel full or feel nourished enough, but my mind is telling me that I need more food, or that I want something else. I'm hoping that this will pass, it's just breaking the old habits and creating new ones.

Food, weightloss and all to the side... things have been interesting. I feel like I'm cutting a lot of ties in my life while also rebuilding some other ones. I have a lot of people in my life that don't really know me. Maybe that's my fault, I don't let people in too often, and when I do it feels like a huge risk. Why tell someone so much about yourself if they don't really want to know, or they don't really care. I didn't set out to burn bridges, or wake up one morning saying "Screw everyone, I'm starting new." Maybe I'm just growing up and tired of the crap. There are a bunch of people in my life that are consistently amazing, and I haven't been paying much attention to everyone or making strong efforts on my end because of all the randomness that went on for me this summer. But a new season is upon us and that is all going to change. As corny as it may sound, I'm finally okay to do things on my own and be with my friends on my own. Though it was my decision to end things in my relationship and I was okay doing so, you still get used to being a certain way. Going and hanging out with friends alone when used to being with someone was something that was definitely strange at first but I think I'm good now!

There are a few quotes I've found on pinterest about friendship that have really spoken to me the last few weeks. Below are some of the favorites:

"Sometimes walking away has nothing to do with weakness, and everything to do with strength. We walk away not because we want others to realize our worth and value, but because we finally realize our own."
"Be careful who you open up to. Only a few people actually care, the rest are just curious."

"Sometimes you have to give up on people, not because you don't care but because they don't."

"There's only so many times you can allow someone to let you down before you can't handle the disappointment anymore. When things change, people change. There's a point in life where you get tired of chasing everyone and trying to fix things, but it's not giving up. You've got to do what's right for you, even if it hurts."

& here are some general ones that I really like. Ones that apply in some way or another.
"Don't think too much, you'll create a problem that wasn't even there in the first place"

"If you don't know where you want to go, then it doesn't matter which path you take." - Alice in Wonderland

"Smile and let everyone know that today, you're a lot stronger than you were yesterday."

"It's better to be single and fabulous on your own than it is to settle for a relationship that isn't everything you dreamed it would be."

"Someday everything will make perfect sense. So, for now, laugh at the confusion, smile through the tears and keep reminding yourself that everything happens for a reason."

"The past can hurt, but the way I see it, you can either run from it or learn from it." - Rafiki (The Lion King)

So I have 9 days left of this super clean eating I'm doing. Then I'm supposed to move directly into a cleanse. I won't go directly into it because I'll be in Ocean City for a bachelorette party and I highly doubt I can hold to a cleanse while there. SO I will be doing the super clean eating until the 16th, as well as I can while out of town on the 15-16. I expect some major slip ups on the 15th, but it's okay. My plan allows for some off days as long as I don't stray too far. No thrashers fries for me but maybe some Fischers popcorn!

I am actually looking forward to my lunch today. It is a salad consisting of romaine lettuce, an ear of corn (sliced off) and 1/2 an avocado with lemon juice & pepper as my dressing. So far today I've had a banana and a handful of almonds. The rest of the day will consist of a snack around 3 with celery and apples. I haven't figured out what I'm going to have for dinner. I think I might stop by Roots on my way home and stock up on some more veggies & fruits. I'll see if they have some black bean burgers or something different to add to the mix.

Until next time...