Big Plans*

Halfway through January of 2013! So far this month, I have been sick with a crazy virus, had a flat tire, had to purchase a new tire, and more. What a month so far! The rest of the month should be fun but hopefully I won't be sick anymore! I'm still getting over my "virus" (according to DR. it wasn't the flu) and it sucks! I'm sneezing like crazy today. But anyways, this weekend I have a bridal show for Pure Romance & I have a date. Next weekend I have Marybeth's birthday party, then lunch with the girls at Wine Market for Restaurant Week.
February should be fun as well! I have a few Pure Romance parties scheduled, Bridesmaid dress shopping for Kristina's wedding, and Deep Creek at the end of February with 11 other crazy people, I can't wait! I am also looking forward to some Valentines Day plans with my single ladies, I hope that works out, could be very fun!

I've been thinking about some of my goals, I have a tendency to get stuck thinking about how far I have to go and that can be overwhelming. I like this quote that says "Focus on how far you've come, not how far you have to go." That is so true! I need to kick my exercising back into gear and shred some more pounds! I also need to get my finances into check! I need to create a budget and stick to it as well as I can. I have a lot of things coming up that I need to have money for, so this fucking around with my money thing isn't going to fly. Student loans are still my number one priortiy, but I want to save a little bit too, and spend very little! I need to kick Pure Romance into gear and get more parties booked OR look at another part time job option. I was considering taking some classes this semester (like anatomy & physiology) so that I can get to grad school, but I haven't got my shit together fast enough, I don't think. Classes would start in a week or two and I don't have the finances together or anything yet... but maybe it's still an option.. not sure. Those are some classes I didn't have to take for my undergrad, but for the programs I'm looking at, I would need them.

I joined a website my friend Marybeth shared with me. It's a website to show your goals, etc. Take a look at my profile and feel free to share any big or small goal ideas. I have a list of stuff I'd like to do before 2015, and I'm supposed to list 101 things but I only have a few right now... I need a little help finishing the list :)
http://www.dayzeroproject.com/user/avgibson8

2013

"Be very careful about what you think, your thoughts run your life" - Proverbs 4:23

It's 2013, I sit here thinking about what to write about since it's been a week or two since my last post and I started reflecting on all of 2012. My life is completely different since then and I love it. This year was the one of the saddest years and one of the happiest years of my life so far. I was completely broken in the middle of 2012, and part of me still is a little bit, but I'm slowly piecing myself together and it is wonderful. I've started my weight loss journey and it's finally for me, and it will continue into 2013. I am single and sometimes it is so hard to be single, but it's how I need to be right now, no regrets.
There are so many things I want for myself in the future... but I have a few I'd like to accomplish in 2013. I wouldn't say they are resolutions, because I have never made any in the past because I honestly think they are dumb, and they are hardly completed. So my things I want, are really just dreams and I hope they come true :)

-I plan to complete my weight loss goals and get to my goal weight, and I will be getting a tattoo once that is complete... ideas to come.

-I want to be happy more often, just because.

-I will to go back to school.

-I wish to move back out on my own, possibly with roommates.

-I hope to say No less, and say Yes more.

-I will make 2013 the best year yet.

For so long growing up, church, my faith, and my religion took up a decent part of my life. I went to church and Sunday school on Sundays, did small group bible studies, and went to youth group on Wednesdays. At a certain point after high school, I dropped it all. There were a lot of reasons why this happened, and I'm not going to discuss them here. But I will say that I have started a daily devotional and have decided to make my way through the Bible again. I'm not saying everything is the same as it was, nor am I saying that I will be going back to Church. However, I am searching for something that I lost back then, and I hope that I can find it.

I've been browsing Pinterest again, and I've found some more quotes that I love so here are some of the new ones. 

"If your thighs don't jiggle, go see a doctor" -Miley Cyrus

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." -Mark Twain

"When you have to make a hard decision; Flip a Coin. Why? Because when the coin is in the air, you suddenly know what you're hoping for."

"Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are" -Kurt Cobain

"I am good, but not an angel. I do sin, but I am not the devil. I am just a small girl in a big world trying to find someone to love." -Marilyn Monroe

Heart Like Mine

I can't believe we are coming to the end of 2012 (and maybe even the world on 12/21 lol)! It got me thinking about my next goal.

I know I said I'd post a weight loss update. And I added a snip of info to my "26 years young" post after the fact including some details. But i am currently weighing in at 232lbs (last I checked, but I need to weigh in again on Sunday because there may have been some extra water weight in that number). Anyways... I am in at 232 and that has me down a total of 54lbs from my highest (ugh, I know.. so terrible). One of my goals was to be 230 by my birthday. Clearly, I didn't hit that target on the nose... but I'm okay with that. I'll just work towards my next goal. Next goal is to be 215 by Feb 14th. That gives me about 8 weeks to lose 17lbs. That may be a high goal, but I'm going to work my ass off to get there, and hopefully I'll make it. If not... thats okay too, but I hope I get there.

I desperately need to go clothes shopping but I don't want to spend the money. The majority of my work pants look ridiculous on me. The butt and upper thigh area is so loose lol, it's amusing to others I'm sure.
I was in a 18W or 20W in work pants and an 18W in Jeans. Now I'm in a 16 (no W) most of the time.. but some brands are iffy so I still fit in some 18 jeans, which is frustrating. It seems like losing that much weight would change the pant sizes a lot but I guess not at the stage I'm at now. Maybe with the next big loss will come different pant sizes. My shirts arre a lot different so that has been a big change, especially in my stomach area.

I would like to lose about 65-70 more pounds so hopefully I can be to my goal weight by Summer of 2013! Thats about 10-12 pounds a month... we'll see how things go! I've said this before but I might get to a point before my goal weight where I'm comfortable and feel okay stopping, I dunno!!!!

That's all I got for now!

If I don't post again... Happy Holidays everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh boys...

So I've had my internet dating profile up since mid October I guess. And I've been on 6 or 7 dates. A friend of mine at work wants me to start journaling the dates because of some of the craziness I've dealt with. I've pondered blogging about it... and I've thought about just keeping a hard copy of it. What do you think? I've had some good dates and those won't be discussed, only the crazy weird ones. If you read this, send me a message or something letting me know if you think I should blog about the insanity or just keep it to myself for now (and maybe release some sort of a novel afterwards haha).

Weight loss updates are coming soon... I keep getting distracted!!!

26 Years Young

I celebrated my 26th birthday this weekend. I am still having a hard time coming to terms with the fact that I am that old. Ugh, it makes me cringe a little. Why is time going so fast? It's not fair, it really isn't. I had a lot of fun on my birthday, I went out with Marybeth & Megan and had a blast, as usual.

Can I tell you, how tired I've been since starting this part time job at Kohls?! I feel like I'm never home and that sleep is in short supply. But it's not that bad, just sometimes time drags on especially when the store is empty.

Back to being 26. I don't know who all reads this silly little blog of mine, but I know what I'm about to say... some of you may think I'm ridiculous. But so be it. I feel like there is a stop watch, counting down. Not counting down to the end of my life, but counting down until 30. I feel like I have so much I have and want to do before I turn 30 and 4 years does not seem like a long enough time to complete it. I want to have kids, but I don't want them past 30. This is just my own personal opinion, I feel like I don't want to be that old when my kids are older... but it's just a personal preference. [Update: I've been told I will change my mind and probably have kids after 30. Riggghhhttt] So apparently I'm supposed to meet my dream man and have babies within the next four years. But to me, that seems so out of reach. So I'm making a assumption here that I will not be having any children. I will be the cool Aunt for when my siblings have kids. Another thing I want to do is go back to school, but I haven't figured out for sure what I want to go for. Right now nursing, teacher, or a masters in biology seems intriguing. But here I am standing around being indecisive as usual. I just know that I need to get another degree or figure out what the hek I'm doing. So for me 26 was not a "fun" birthday. Yes of course, I had fun when I went out. I mean more that turning 26, the act of entering my "late" twenties has me a bit overwhelmed. Crap.

Weight loss update....

I haven't weighed in, in two weeks. Ooops! I need to get on that scale. I need to be  accountable, and I will do it tonight when I get home!!! I will post tonight or tomorrow with updates.

*UPDATE*
So this is being added after the fact. My goal was to be at 230 by my birthday (December 8th). But when I weighed in I was at 232lbs. So I missed my goal by two pounds, but ya know what I'm definitely not upset about it. Because in total, I am down 54 mother bleeping pounds. :-)

I am thankful...

I am tired, so tired. I got home from work last night around 11:40pm and I went straight to bed! I woke up early this morning around 5:30am and went for a long walk in the neighborhood, up and down the large hill for added exercise. Showered & went to work. I'm here until 4:30pm and then I'm at Kohls from 6pm-12:30am. Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and so I started to think of what I'm thankful for. Some of these thanks are quite meaningful and others are completely random, but I'm still thankful. for them!

1. My family. I feel like grouping them in one post may not be the right choice. However, I am so incredibly thankful for them. My mom, dad, brother Ryan, & sister Kelsey. I do not know what I would do if they weren't in my life. We all may not always get along, and I'll go ahead and admit that 60% of that is usually my fault but I wouldn't have it any other way.

2. Kelsey. Yes she does fall into family but she also gets her own post.
Is it possible to have a best friend that is 14 years younger than you? I think so, maybe a different type of friend. We may not share the stories that we share with our friends our own age. I may not share dating or bar stories with her and she does not always share the middle school drama & boy crush things with me. But we can completely be ourselves around eachother without worry or judgement. Because let me tell you, girls are so judgemental at any age. We have a standing evening activity of watching old episodes of Gilmore Girls. And we just belt out the opening song together every time, and it's something I look forward to every week. I don't know what we'll do when we reach the end of the series! LOL We can just hang and lounge and I guess that's what having a sister is like. I just only re-discovered it this summer, especially because she is at an age where we can do this. 10 years ago, when I was 16, she was only 2 so it was more me hanging out with her watching Monsters, Inc. and no one was chatting with the other. Anyways, without rambling anymore, I just am so thankful for her. And her advice, when I can ask it, is so incredibly simple and perfect.

3. Megan. I feel like I am extra thankful for Megan recently. I was a shitty friend for a few years, for various reasons but I'm so happy that we've been hanging out again. I don't think I ever laugh quite as hard as I do when with her. We both say some of the craziest shit when we're together, especially if we've been drinking. And we can talk about anything, and when I say anything... I mean ANYTHING. LOL there is nothing reserved about any of our conversations. I'm not being a shitty friend ever again. Sticking to the mantra "Chicks before Dicks"!!!!!!

4. My friends as a whole. I've really realized how as I've gotten older. Quality of friends has become so much more important that quantity. I have a good group of girlfriends I can really rely on.

Sadaf is a newish friend, we've been friends now for about a year and because we work together and spend 40 hours a week around eachother, I'd say we are really good friends only because she knows EVERYTHING. Lol. It's amazing how you can have a friend so quickly and they know you as well if not better than someone you've known 10 years!

Megan was already mentioned but she goes along with this group of girls... Megan, Kim, Marybeth, & Sabrina. I've had a lot of fun with these ladies the past few months. And going back to what I said before... I'm not being a shitty friend anymore. Some of the four are closer than others, but I really enjoy spending time with them and feel like we can talk about anything together and can relate very well to each others current situations!

Phil... Oh Phil! Though you are away in another country, I am still thankful for you! Though we're not talking that much on a serious level right now.. I know that if I did need you as a listening ear or if I needed you for anything at all... you'd be there for me. And I am very thankful for that! Paris 2013, yeahhh!

I have a few other friends that I'm very thankful for as well.. you know who you are :)

5. Jobs.. yeah I'm thankful for them... whatever. On to the next..

6.Newman! Yes I am so thankful for my little love bug. He is the bun to my burger, the pen to my paper, the french to my fry... you get it! I love that little ass, he's the best dog a girl could ask for!

7.My life. I am so thankful for my life.. don't know what else to say about it...

8. Charlie Humnam.. yep. That's it.. just thankful for him and for FX for allowing me to look at him every Tuesday night.

I thought I had a lot more.. but it seems that is it for now. Perhaps some more will come to me later and I can add to this tonight or tomorrow.

Have a happy thanksgiving everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanksgiving!

 I am in disbelief that Thanksgiving is already around the corner! I am having a hard time with the fact that almost 6 full months have gone by since I've moved home, etc. And I'm almost 3 full months into my weight loss journey or whatever you want to call it. Crazy how time flies!

I weighed and measured in yesterday, and I'm a bit bloated this week but it looks like I'm down 3 pounds. But I didn't weigh in last week. I need to invest in a digital scale, because the one I've been using is old school!!!

With thanksgiving coming up on Thursday, I was thinking about what I'm going to eat, etc. I think that I've planned it out in my head. White meat turkey, green bean casserole (if there is any), salad (if there is any), and yeah depending on what other veggies are there I'll add those. But I know I won't be eating any potatoes, sweet potatoes, stuffing, bread, pie, desert, etc. Keep it away from my side of the table! LOL.

I've become more narcissistic if you will, as I take tons of "selfie" pics these days. I often find myself just taking snapshots of myself in the car, in my room, watching TV, at a friends house, at the bars, on my couch. It's a bit ridiculous, but I think that means I'm getting more comfortable in my own skin... hopefully not too comfortable because I still have a ways to go. Pretty funny when my sister catches me taking pictures of myself, oops! This picture to the top right, of me sitting on the couch. I look at my legs and they look so much smaller than they used to. I know I'm cray, but that's alright with me :) The pic a little above to the left is before my workout the other day Gotta love the pink danskin stuff from walmart, my favorite work out stuff b/c it's so cheap. So with my sizes changing, I don't mind buying it because pants, shirts, & jackets are only like $8-$20 a piece. When I look at that picture, I see more jaw definition and more dimples, etc in my cheeks.

I think going through a quarter life crisis this year LOL. As I approach my 22nd bday (aka 26... but shh), I realize where I am in life and how I feel far behind. I know it's not true, whatever, but can't help how you feel. Anyways, I'm planning to go out on my birthday and whether it is just me and one friend or me and 20 friends, I'm  DETERMINED to have an unforgettable night. Not because it is my birthday, I am going to celebrate my 6 months and my 3 months. My 6 months after making my decision to be single, and my 3 months of losing weight. So I know that it will be EPIC regardless!! Here's to me!