Mayyyyyyyyyyyy

Ok so I'm going to do my best to write more. I'm sure I will be creating posts that will forever stay in bloggers "draft phase" which basically means there is no way in hell I'll let you read them. But the majority of them will be here. And to write more about everything. Not just weight loss and all that. I think it's theraputic for me to write.

It's May 2nd (Happy Birthday Dad) and it's almost been a year since everything changed for me. And I can't believe how much has happened in almost this one year... but maybe that is a post for later in the month (when it's actually been a year).

So.. here is what I've been up to!
I am in the process of interviewing for another job with a company in Baltimore city. I have my second interview tomorrow afternoon (Cross your fingers for me).
I'm moving out this summer, to move in with my friend who just purchased a condo! I'm super excited. I think we will have a blast, especially as two single twenty somethings! And I'm super excited for my friend, I know good things are happening for her and she deserves it, yes that was a shout out!
I am currently one confused girl. Dating a guy since beginning of January, started to fall in love ( with said guy and now he isn't talking to me. It hurts, but ya know what... AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT. Thats what I'm sticking with... for now. And thats all the details I'm writing about that. Because yeah, just because.

I am still shrinking in size, and I am super excited about it. But I need to kick things into gear. I know this, and now I just have to do it. My eating has gotten to a place where I am happy. I eat 1200-1500 calories a day, usually 1200-1300. I eat healthy 80-90% of the time nad when I do eat bad, I'm no longer feeling guilty about it or hating myself for it. Which I think is a great step.
I still beat myself up about a lot of things, emotionally I have a long ways to go but I know I'm getting better with everything, after all nothing is a quick fix.
I have started looking at blogs and facebook pages of girls my age who are doing what I'm doing and who have lost what I've lost.
Nobody tells you the following things when they suggest that you lose weight...
-Losing weight is quite expensive. After all, healthy foods tend to be more expensive, gym memberships can be pricey (so far I've been doing it without a gym.. but I plan to implement the gym this summer. Also, it's expensive because of clothes. UGH. You will laugh, but I was so cheap for a few weeks/months that I was wearing underwear that were too big for me, still am wearing pants that are too big for me, and yeah. I am not made of money, and whats the point in buying a whole new wardrobe at every new size. That will just put me into credit card debt hell. But I have made a significant step and have given about 3-4 trashbags of clothes away. Either to goodwill or to good friends. At a certain point, I realized it was not healthy for me to hold on to pants that are 3 sizes bigger than I'm wearing. Holding onto them I was thinking I would need them because I was going to gain it all back. But throwing them away, I don't have an option now. No gaining it back. :-)
-Losing weight is super confusing for your emotions, I'm assuming it is like this for men too, but I'm not sure. It's definitely a mind fuck for ladies. I've read other ladies posts/blogs and it seems its a mindfuck after about 50lbs... so I don't want to know what the hell kind of confusion it will cause when I get to 100lbs. FML. I say FML but it's a good FML... I think.
-Losing weight is not a quick fix for everything, at all.


So yeah.. thats my post for today.

Sorry for all the cursing in today's post, I'm a little upset still about a few things but I'm trying to be fucking positive!