Bachelorette Partyinggg

So my friend who is getting married in June, we're having her bachelorette party this weekend in Baltimore! Being the maid of honor, I feel that it is my responsibility to make the night unforgettable! We are staying at a sweet hotel in Baltimore City near the inner harbor. Starting off there we plan to do nails & facials. Then we are heading out to RA Sushi for their awesome happy hour. Back to the hotel we go where we will drink and play some games! Then out to Powerplant Live!, where we will hit up some bars and play some games along the way. It plans to be an amazing night! It will be the bride to be, myself, two bridesmaids, and a friend of the bride to be. The bride is wearing a sparkly fun dress and the rest of us are wearing black. I have a folder filled with drinking games for the hotel that are bachelorette themed! There will be "Swag Bags" for everyone, and an awesome photo scavenger hunt for when we're out and about! Other details include Jello Shots, mixed drinks, monogramed bottles, & more. I think it will be one hell of a night and lots of memories will be made! Look for a post-party blog posting all about how crazy fun it was!

Rainy Day Blues... or Pinks... or Greens....

So this post isn't really me being a downer, just me thinking about some things and of course I was thinking these things on a rainy gross day! I started wondering to myself if some people aren't meant to be in a relationship or have a "great love". Obviously, I started wondering this about myself and it led to me thinking if maybe just some people in general are supposed to be single [single & fabulous, of course]. I like being single, don't get me wrong. But with my 27th birthday approaching fast [in December, hah], I thought that I would have found my "great love" by now so that I could have kids and such at this time in life. After talking with a few friends, I've realized maybe my "to do" list just needs to be thrown out the window so I can just live. I can live and let whatever is going to happen, happen. I need not be concerned with what didn't work out or what hasn't happened yet. So as of today, May 7th... I am declaring that I will just live. I will live and try to stop thinking about everything so much. And I will try to stop being concerned with things I have no control over.  And through living, I'll get everything I never knew I wanted.... at least that's the plan.

Summer Reading

So I've created myself a summer reading list. I love to read, if you don't know this about me... we probably aren't that close. I read at work, in the car, before bed, after bed, at the beach, on an airplane, at the pool, anywhere I can. So, here is my reading list. Also listed is some of my most recent favorites that you should read, if you haven't.

My recent favs:
-Fallen by Lauren Kate (and the three following books)
-Beautiful Disaster by Jamie McGuire


Summer Reading List:
-Kiss Me First by Lottie Moggach
-Sisterland by Curtis Sittenfeld
-Big Girl Panties by Stephanie Evanovich
-Divergent by Veronica Roth
-Smart Girls like Me by Diane Vadino
-Twenties Girl by Sophie Kinsella
-Trading Up by Candace Bushnell
-Meeting your half Orange by Amy Spencer
-The Between Boyfriends Book by Cindy Chupack
-Why Should Men Have All the Fun? By DJ Johnson
-Beautiful Bastard by Christina Lauren
-Spirit Junkie by Gabrielle Bernstein
-Here I Go Again by Jen Lancaster
-Girls in White Dresses by Jennifer  Close
-How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie
-It's Called a Breakup because it's broken by Greg Behrendt
-It's Not Your Number by Sophie Kinsella
-Maine by J Courtney Sullivan
-One Day by David Nicholls
-Sisterhood Everlasting by Ann Brashares
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I might add some more to this list at some point, but this is what I have for now. And for my recent favs, I can't remember some of the titles.. so I'll add once I get my nook out of my car!

Sunday Thoughts

As usual, I put up some of my most recent fav pinterest quote finds.

So after a lot of thinking. I dont know if I was in love.  We had a lot of fun together, and we had a lot of fun otherwise, ya know. But thinking about it more, I don't know that I ever was fully myself around him. Because I am so guarded, it takes me a while, and I think I was just coming around to always being my true self in his presence. And he made comments in the past about how it didn't seem I was being true or that I seemed overly guarded. So maybe that had something to do with it, I'm not sure. Regardless, I don't think anyone should just stop talking to another as a way to end a relationship or whatever it is. So guys & girls, man up... if you're trying to stop seeing someone... don't just stop talking to them. Don't stop responding or communicating. Ball up and just be honest. I think that it's pretty commendable to be able to come forward and admit what you're feeling, even if it might hurt the others feelings. Because, speaking from experience, it's actually pretty damn hard to "ball up". But if it needs to be done, then do it. Otherwise, that person is left confused and doesn't everyone deserve a little closure?

On another note... today I'm spending my Sunday with myself. I'm cleaning my room and working on some bachelorette & bridal shower stuff for my dear friend who is getting married in 47 short days in Florida. Her bachelorette party is actually this weekend, so I'm finishing up some last minute details on swag bags & playlists, etc. Her bridal shower is memorial day weekend and I just finished a playlist for background music for that. I did pick up my bridesmaids dress on Friday and my sandals came in the mail on Saturday. I think I'm all set for traveling, the lady at Alfred Angelo said I should vacuum seal my dress in one of those bags from Bed, Bath, & Beyond and keep it in my purse. LOL I think she has heard one too many horror stories of dresses getting left behind in luggage or something. I don't know that I will be doing that, but I'm sure I'll be taking it in my carry on. Flight & Hotel are booked, luckily I'm staying with another bridesmaid to cut down costs. It seems now, all I need is to get together spending money and I'm good. Actually, I do need to book my reservation for the wedding snorkel trip, which should be cool! But otherwise, it seems everything else is coming together great.

I have decided to make a list of things that I would like to accomplish or do for the rest of 2013. I have friends that make lists like this, and I have also seen them on other blogs. It can be a list of big things and little things, even just going to a specific restaurant. So look for that in a future post, I hope to get that list together by mid May at the lastest. Yes, I have set myself a deadline for a list!!!

My interview on Friday went well, cross your fingers for me. I hope that I will hear from them. If nothing else, I'm proud of myself for interviewing as well as I did both times. I usually get so nervous I screw up something but I think I've gotten over my interview nerves for the most part.

This is tricky, I have a weight loss goal I want to accomplish by July 31, but I also have a bridemaids dress that fits perfectly that I have to wear on June 21. I will continue on my weight loss and just make sure to keep trying the dress on and if last minute alterations need to happen, then I will have to deal with that cost lol! So my next goal is to get to ONEDERLAND by July 1. For those of you who don't know what onederland is... it's a fat girls wonderland. It is getting under 200lbs. So my goal is to be at least 190 by July 1st. That would mean I need to lose 35lbs by July 31, which is 86 days from today. Originally I was going to set this goal by July 1st, but I'm trying to be realistic. And yes, I'm down 65lbs and it's definitely doable to lose 35 in two months. But I know myself and my body and I'm aiming for July 31. It would be awesome to get there faster and maybe I will. We shall see! Cheers to ONEDERLAND.

Happy Sunday everyone. Thoughts & Prayers going out to a good friend of mine who has lost her grandmother today. Sun is shining on your family today because she is thinking of you.

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Mayyyyyyyyyyyy

Ok so I'm going to do my best to write more. I'm sure I will be creating posts that will forever stay in bloggers "draft phase" which basically means there is no way in hell I'll let you read them. But the majority of them will be here. And to write more about everything. Not just weight loss and all that. I think it's theraputic for me to write.

It's May 2nd (Happy Birthday Dad) and it's almost been a year since everything changed for me. And I can't believe how much has happened in almost this one year... but maybe that is a post for later in the month (when it's actually been a year).

So.. here is what I've been up to!
I am in the process of interviewing for another job with a company in Baltimore city. I have my second interview tomorrow afternoon (Cross your fingers for me).
I'm moving out this summer, to move in with my friend who just purchased a condo! I'm super excited. I think we will have a blast, especially as two single twenty somethings! And I'm super excited for my friend, I know good things are happening for her and she deserves it, yes that was a shout out!
I am currently one confused girl. Dating a guy since beginning of January, started to fall in love ( with said guy and now he isn't talking to me. It hurts, but ya know what... AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT. Thats what I'm sticking with... for now. And thats all the details I'm writing about that. Because yeah, just because.

I am still shrinking in size, and I am super excited about it. But I need to kick things into gear. I know this, and now I just have to do it. My eating has gotten to a place where I am happy. I eat 1200-1500 calories a day, usually 1200-1300. I eat healthy 80-90% of the time nad when I do eat bad, I'm no longer feeling guilty about it or hating myself for it. Which I think is a great step.
I still beat myself up about a lot of things, emotionally I have a long ways to go but I know I'm getting better with everything, after all nothing is a quick fix.
I have started looking at blogs and facebook pages of girls my age who are doing what I'm doing and who have lost what I've lost.
Nobody tells you the following things when they suggest that you lose weight...
-Losing weight is quite expensive. After all, healthy foods tend to be more expensive, gym memberships can be pricey (so far I've been doing it without a gym.. but I plan to implement the gym this summer. Also, it's expensive because of clothes. UGH. You will laugh, but I was so cheap for a few weeks/months that I was wearing underwear that were too big for me, still am wearing pants that are too big for me, and yeah. I am not made of money, and whats the point in buying a whole new wardrobe at every new size. That will just put me into credit card debt hell. But I have made a significant step and have given about 3-4 trashbags of clothes away. Either to goodwill or to good friends. At a certain point, I realized it was not healthy for me to hold on to pants that are 3 sizes bigger than I'm wearing. Holding onto them I was thinking I would need them because I was going to gain it all back. But throwing them away, I don't have an option now. No gaining it back. :-)
-Losing weight is super confusing for your emotions, I'm assuming it is like this for men too, but I'm not sure. It's definitely a mind fuck for ladies. I've read other ladies posts/blogs and it seems its a mindfuck after about 50lbs... so I don't want to know what the hell kind of confusion it will cause when I get to 100lbs. FML. I say FML but it's a good FML... I think.
-Losing weight is not a quick fix for everything, at all.


So yeah.. thats my post for today.

Sorry for all the cursing in today's post, I'm a little upset still about a few things but I'm trying to be fucking positive!