14

So it's October 8th, 2013. And I'm wearing a size 14 work pants. To me this is a huge accomplishment and it may have taken me a while to get here but I'm here. I started off this "journey" wearing a size 20W in work pants and in Jeans(I even had one pair of 22's). I'm 5'9" (ish) in height and weighed at least 286lbs at my heaviest. I am down to 221lbs, down 65lbs. But I've lost and gained so much more than just weight. My weight has not changed much over the past few months but my pants and shirt sizes have. My plan tonight is to get home and do some measurements to compare to my June measurements. I expect to see a great deal of difference since I've gone down almost 2 pants sizes since then. I'm shocked that I can fit in some size L tops, actually most. I still have a lot of 1X tops and I definitely need to purge out my closet. But guess what, it's super expensive to continue to buy new clothes as you lose weight. So don't throw shade my way if you see me wearing oversized sweaters or tee's. I'm bringing back the 90's, Ok?! Though I will mention I am very thankful for a friend who has given me a ton of tops, and I got a few pairs of paints from another friend. Help your friends out whenever possible when you're losing weight because clothes are effin expensive! As I've lost weight, I feel like my self confidence has gone down in some ways. In other ways it has gone up. I've said this before in another blog post or two, weightloss can be a complete Mind F**K. A friend of mine calls it body dysmorphia. And it makes sense. For years I was up towards 300lbs, so now I'm closing in on 200 and under and I still see & think of myself as almost 300lbs. It's a weird process, thats for sure! Another thing that is wickedy wack... is that when you're used to shopping plus size sections and plus size stores and you realize that you can fit into pretty much any store. It's CRAZY. I actually bought two tops from a junior section the other day, how weird is that! Things like that make it real! One thing that I thought of this morning, is I haven't worn a 14 since at least 2004. I remember starting college as a juniors 15 and then shortly after was in a juniors 17/19 or a womens 16/18. Wow. Almost ten years ago! Recently, for a while, I thought "Oh maybe I'm okay being in a size 16, maybe I'll stop here!" Heck no man! Being in a 14 feels pretty flipping amazing so I think I'm going for a size 10. We'll see what happens! I'm still trying to get to a certain point by 12/8! Start off my 27th year in the right spot! And props to all my friends, seems like everyone is on the same page right now trying to better themselves and lose weight. A friend of mine is running a half marathon on Saturday which is Flipping Awesome! GO HER! And congrats to a couple friends who are close to hitting some big weight loss goals. You guys inspire me to keep on going! Lastly, I just want to say that I'm kind of shocked that I'm enjoying running. I don't ever see myself as being a long distance runner. I don't think I would want to ever run over 5 miles. But it's actually kinda fun...