Shocked.

So I stumbled upon some pictures from March & May of 2012, before any real weight loss started so I guess you could say I was at my heaviest. The heaviest I remember weighing in on a scale was 286lbs. I could have been heavier than that... I dunno. Right now I'm sitting at about 225lbs, down 61lbs (maybe more if I got higher than 286). These pictures are haunting me. I never saw myself as that heavy, I mean wow. Looking at them I realize how big I was but I didn't think I was big at the time!!! It's amazing how your brain can trick you. Like seriously trick you! I'm just shocked I think to see it because I didn't let myself be apart of many pictures at that point. I had dropped about 20-30lbs before I let anyone get a pic of me lol.

I know I have a ways to go, but I guess I am halfway there. I would like to lose another 50-60lbs. But I just needed to take this moment to go whoaaa. o cheers to me I guess, I've come this far. A little over halfway there. These pics are my motivation, for sure.

April, whoaaa

Time is flying by! It's already April, wow!!
Weight loss update: Over the holidays, I gained about 10lbs, then lost 20lbs, so really I'm just down 10lbs since my last update aka January. But I'm kicking things back into gear and eating clean again! I'm getting back to exercising but I've been having to take it easy so far this month. I'll explain why in a bit.

So lots has been happening since my last post, which was like 3 months ago basically. Oops, sorry!
I have made some decisions recently for my future which I'm excited about. I'm going to start taking some classes this fall to head towards being a Nurse or a Physicians Assistant. Still need to hammer out details and where I'll be going, etc. But I'm one step in the right direction! I also am hoping to move back out this summer. A friend of mine has bought a condo (Yeyy congrats!) and since it is a 2 bedroom 2 bath, she wants to rent to a roommate. So I'm excited for that. I love my family and all, but I think I'd prefer to be living out of the house.
So in mid march, I started having a terrible headache and stomach issues. Went to the doctor and he said it was a migraine and thats why I was having stomach trouble so he ordered me a CT of the brain. So that was scheduled, well then I started to get worse.. my throat started to swell and I was becoming really tired and had no energy. So I went back to the doctor and they did a strep test which was negative, then a blood test. Turned out I had Mono!!! Whaaaaaaat? Lol... well I took off work one day and then went back the next because I thought I was okay and better. Things went from ehh to worse in a matter of 12 hours. By the time I got home that day I started to get a fever upwards of 101-102 degrees. So I was taking a fever reducer. Well then my tonsils started to swell like crazy. I'm talking they were so big they were touching eachother. I didn't go back to work and slept through the weekend, barely eating or drinking. By Tuesady, I wasn't back at work but I knew I needed to go to the Doctor again. Went to urgent care and they sent me to the ER because they thought my tonsils needed to be drained, ew. So I'm in the ER and they're pumping fluids into me because I was so dehydrated. When they weighed me, I had lost 17lbs in 12 days. They put a pain killer into my IV and steroids. And then put me on a perscription of steroids. I was out of work the rest of the week, but the steroids helped a bunch! My tonsil swelling went down, making me able to actually drink water without dying lol! I missed a total of 7 days of work, ugh! But now I'm feeling much better, getting sleepy really easily but that's it. So March pretty much blew towards the end there! Doc said I need to avoid strenuous activity for a few weeks, and that I need to take it easy in general. So I haven't been able to jump start my exercising again quite yet. I've been walknig a little, but haven't run, though I'm sure I'd be okay if I did. Thanks to mono for jump starting my weight loss again though, I guess! Lol
I'm sure I have lots of other stuff I could touch on since I haven't posted since January, but most of it seems irrelevant at this point. I'm looking forward to April & May. Lots of fun stuff going on!

I'll post again soon, won't wait 3 months this time! <3

Big Plans*

Halfway through January of 2013! So far this month, I have been sick with a crazy virus, had a flat tire, had to purchase a new tire, and more. What a month so far! The rest of the month should be fun but hopefully I won't be sick anymore! I'm still getting over my "virus" (according to DR. it wasn't the flu) and it sucks! I'm sneezing like crazy today. But anyways, this weekend I have a bridal show for Pure Romance & I have a date. Next weekend I have Marybeth's birthday party, then lunch with the girls at Wine Market for Restaurant Week.
February should be fun as well! I have a few Pure Romance parties scheduled, Bridesmaid dress shopping for Kristina's wedding, and Deep Creek at the end of February with 11 other crazy people, I can't wait! I am also looking forward to some Valentines Day plans with my single ladies, I hope that works out, could be very fun!

I've been thinking about some of my goals, I have a tendency to get stuck thinking about how far I have to go and that can be overwhelming. I like this quote that says "Focus on how far you've come, not how far you have to go." That is so true! I need to kick my exercising back into gear and shred some more pounds! I also need to get my finances into check! I need to create a budget and stick to it as well as I can. I have a lot of things coming up that I need to have money for, so this fucking around with my money thing isn't going to fly. Student loans are still my number one priortiy, but I want to save a little bit too, and spend very little! I need to kick Pure Romance into gear and get more parties booked OR look at another part time job option. I was considering taking some classes this semester (like anatomy & physiology) so that I can get to grad school, but I haven't got my shit together fast enough, I don't think. Classes would start in a week or two and I don't have the finances together or anything yet... but maybe it's still an option.. not sure. Those are some classes I didn't have to take for my undergrad, but for the programs I'm looking at, I would need them.

I joined a website my friend Marybeth shared with me. It's a website to show your goals, etc. Take a look at my profile and feel free to share any big or small goal ideas. I have a list of stuff I'd like to do before 2015, and I'm supposed to list 101 things but I only have a few right now... I need a little help finishing the list :)
http://www.dayzeroproject.com/user/avgibson8

2013

"Be very careful about what you think, your thoughts run your life" - Proverbs 4:23

It's 2013, I sit here thinking about what to write about since it's been a week or two since my last post and I started reflecting on all of 2012. My life is completely different since then and I love it. This year was the one of the saddest years and one of the happiest years of my life so far. I was completely broken in the middle of 2012, and part of me still is a little bit, but I'm slowly piecing myself together and it is wonderful. I've started my weight loss journey and it's finally for me, and it will continue into 2013. I am single and sometimes it is so hard to be single, but it's how I need to be right now, no regrets.
There are so many things I want for myself in the future... but I have a few I'd like to accomplish in 2013. I wouldn't say they are resolutions, because I have never made any in the past because I honestly think they are dumb, and they are hardly completed. So my things I want, are really just dreams and I hope they come true :)

-I plan to complete my weight loss goals and get to my goal weight, and I will be getting a tattoo once that is complete... ideas to come.

-I want to be happy more often, just because.

-I will to go back to school.

-I wish to move back out on my own, possibly with roommates.

-I hope to say No less, and say Yes more.

-I will make 2013 the best year yet.

For so long growing up, church, my faith, and my religion took up a decent part of my life. I went to church and Sunday school on Sundays, did small group bible studies, and went to youth group on Wednesdays. At a certain point after high school, I dropped it all. There were a lot of reasons why this happened, and I'm not going to discuss them here. But I will say that I have started a daily devotional and have decided to make my way through the Bible again. I'm not saying everything is the same as it was, nor am I saying that I will be going back to Church. However, I am searching for something that I lost back then, and I hope that I can find it.

I've been browsing Pinterest again, and I've found some more quotes that I love so here are some of the new ones. 

"If your thighs don't jiggle, go see a doctor" -Miley Cyrus

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." -Mark Twain

"When you have to make a hard decision; Flip a Coin. Why? Because when the coin is in the air, you suddenly know what you're hoping for."

"Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are" -Kurt Cobain

"I am good, but not an angel. I do sin, but I am not the devil. I am just a small girl in a big world trying to find someone to love." -Marilyn Monroe

Heart Like Mine

I can't believe we are coming to the end of 2012 (and maybe even the world on 12/21 lol)! It got me thinking about my next goal.

I know I said I'd post a weight loss update. And I added a snip of info to my "26 years young" post after the fact including some details. But i am currently weighing in at 232lbs (last I checked, but I need to weigh in again on Sunday because there may have been some extra water weight in that number). Anyways... I am in at 232 and that has me down a total of 54lbs from my highest (ugh, I know.. so terrible). One of my goals was to be 230 by my birthday. Clearly, I didn't hit that target on the nose... but I'm okay with that. I'll just work towards my next goal. Next goal is to be 215 by Feb 14th. That gives me about 8 weeks to lose 17lbs. That may be a high goal, but I'm going to work my ass off to get there, and hopefully I'll make it. If not... thats okay too, but I hope I get there.

I desperately need to go clothes shopping but I don't want to spend the money. The majority of my work pants look ridiculous on me. The butt and upper thigh area is so loose lol, it's amusing to others I'm sure.
I was in a 18W or 20W in work pants and an 18W in Jeans. Now I'm in a 16 (no W) most of the time.. but some brands are iffy so I still fit in some 18 jeans, which is frustrating. It seems like losing that much weight would change the pant sizes a lot but I guess not at the stage I'm at now. Maybe with the next big loss will come different pant sizes. My shirts arre a lot different so that has been a big change, especially in my stomach area.

I would like to lose about 65-70 more pounds so hopefully I can be to my goal weight by Summer of 2013! Thats about 10-12 pounds a month... we'll see how things go! I've said this before but I might get to a point before my goal weight where I'm comfortable and feel okay stopping, I dunno!!!!

That's all I got for now!

If I don't post again... Happy Holidays everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh boys...

So I've had my internet dating profile up since mid October I guess. And I've been on 6 or 7 dates. A friend of mine at work wants me to start journaling the dates because of some of the craziness I've dealt with. I've pondered blogging about it... and I've thought about just keeping a hard copy of it. What do you think? I've had some good dates and those won't be discussed, only the crazy weird ones. If you read this, send me a message or something letting me know if you think I should blog about the insanity or just keep it to myself for now (and maybe release some sort of a novel afterwards haha).

Weight loss updates are coming soon... I keep getting distracted!!!

26 Years Young

I celebrated my 26th birthday this weekend. I am still having a hard time coming to terms with the fact that I am that old. Ugh, it makes me cringe a little. Why is time going so fast? It's not fair, it really isn't. I had a lot of fun on my birthday, I went out with Marybeth & Megan and had a blast, as usual.

Can I tell you, how tired I've been since starting this part time job at Kohls?! I feel like I'm never home and that sleep is in short supply. But it's not that bad, just sometimes time drags on especially when the store is empty.

Back to being 26. I don't know who all reads this silly little blog of mine, but I know what I'm about to say... some of you may think I'm ridiculous. But so be it. I feel like there is a stop watch, counting down. Not counting down to the end of my life, but counting down until 30. I feel like I have so much I have and want to do before I turn 30 and 4 years does not seem like a long enough time to complete it. I want to have kids, but I don't want them past 30. This is just my own personal opinion, I feel like I don't want to be that old when my kids are older... but it's just a personal preference. [Update: I've been told I will change my mind and probably have kids after 30. Riggghhhttt] So apparently I'm supposed to meet my dream man and have babies within the next four years. But to me, that seems so out of reach. So I'm making a assumption here that I will not be having any children. I will be the cool Aunt for when my siblings have kids. Another thing I want to do is go back to school, but I haven't figured out for sure what I want to go for. Right now nursing, teacher, or a masters in biology seems intriguing. But here I am standing around being indecisive as usual. I just know that I need to get another degree or figure out what the hek I'm doing. So for me 26 was not a "fun" birthday. Yes of course, I had fun when I went out. I mean more that turning 26, the act of entering my "late" twenties has me a bit overwhelmed. Crap.

Weight loss update....

I haven't weighed in, in two weeks. Ooops! I need to get on that scale. I need to be  accountable, and I will do it tonight when I get home!!! I will post tonight or tomorrow with updates.

*UPDATE*
So this is being added after the fact. My goal was to be at 230 by my birthday (December 8th). But when I weighed in I was at 232lbs. So I missed my goal by two pounds, but ya know what I'm definitely not upset about it. Because in total, I am down 54 mother bleeping pounds. :-)